Shock result: Greens take power (by mixing yellow and blue)

Oh blog. Oh Jesus Christ....

Here I was, happily tippy tappying away on my keyboard about the hot topics of the day. Hotter topics than the surface of the sun covered in Regge Regge sauce and served on a bed of razor blades. Hotter than Hansel. Hotter than a Chinese burn from Ian McBurningham who lives in a volcano and has onions for eyes. But, the cold, sour cream of breaking news was poured onto my lust for blog, and I stopped dead. Not literally, but it was the kind of news that makes me think that might have been the better option. News that had me weeping salty tears onto my keyboard and singeing my fingers with the electrical sparkles that followed.

Finally, after what seemed like the entire length of Avatar, Gordon Browneyesburninglikefire accepted the inevitable and disappeared into the middle distance, squinting into the sun and checking his P45 for potential rebates. After the year he's had, I wouldn't be surprised if when he finally got out of the resignation press conference, he wasn't body popping round the room, necking all the Creme De Menthe he could nick from the Cabinet office and laughing like a madman howling at the moon now that he's finally free of it all. Free of the daily bitterness, the daily recriminations, the Daily Mail.

So here I stand, staring into the abyss of today, after the clear skied, starry eyed possibility of a week ago. Ah, a week ago. A simpler time. The time when Nick was pure, when he was strong, when he was beautiful. It was a time where we could stare meaningfully at the way the studio lights flicked wistfully off his golden flowing hair, as he toyed playfully with the evil robot Camer-tron and the befuddled dough faced Brown. He was hip, he was pop, he was a "mania".

Such is life. Much like the Spice Girls found overnight success that promised a new era of dominance and 'Girl Power', only for the ginger one who buggered off for a glittering and 100% successful solo career, so too, Nickle-ohdear-on found himself abandoned by his own electorate who decided to double check the odds in the Racing Post and finding "Devil you know" to be a solid 2/7 bet.

On this point I must become serious - it is not a sin to vote lib dem. There. I said it. I'll say it again... oh sod it, just read that bit again, I can't be bothered to type it. OK, so it appears that by voting Lib Dem, it prevented Labour gaining enough seats to keep The Lord of the Ringpiece out of Downing Street. However, I say this to you - voting is about progression, it's about pinning your colours to the mast of the professionals who best represent you. It is not about keeping people out. It's not about popularity. It's not some sort of primeval, flag waving tribalism favored by fictional ogres, four year olds or Middle Ages knights with obscure upper crust names like Bedevere, Ernst or David.

I support the Lib Dems when I'm feeling politically motivated, mainly because I feel that they best represent my ideas on progression, understanding and fairness and not because they themselves should become part of the political tradition in this country of hurling ever so witty soundbites across a room, pandering to the will of wealthy newspaper magnates or weeping over the crumbs of a creaking economy. I'd like to be represented by a member of parliament who is interested in representing their constituency and not using tax money as a kind of delicious slush fund to keep his staff in Magnums and choc ices throughout the World Cup. This is why I find myself at odds with this decision to endorse the Blue Side of the Moon.

I am no fool, and I understand that before governing, a political party may need to find its substance to support its ideas. I really believed though that the tide was turning and that the yellow brigade could find themselves in opposition after the election, where they could build on their common sense policies and begin to shape the will of the incumbant government. My realisitic best(ish) case scenario, I saw the Tory's held to account by a new, aggressive, Liberal party built on the solid economic policy supplied by the ever respected Vince Cable and carried off by the odds defying Mr Clegg. I honestly couldn't see the Labour party surviving the election with half their seats.

Now I fear that the Lib Dems have hamstrung their future endeavors by endorsing a coalition that they will claim will ensure their agenda is considered slightly more enthusiastically than something that Oliver Letwin discovered hanging from William Hagues nose. Neither the voters who despise the Tory's, nor the floating, left leaning voters will take much notice of these claims. It's funny, but what with Labour losing the power to govern, the Tory's failing to secure the majority that every poll for the last 1000 years had predicted they would and the Lib Dems selling their soul to the street bullies so they don't get a kicking after school, this is perhaps the only election in history where everybody lost.

So now it's begun, but where will it end? We've never seen anything like this before. Lets hope they've got the foggiest about what they're going to do. I for one, can't wait to be proved wrong. First time for everything....

Ifyoudontlookitmightnotbetrue xx